On Perfect Imperfectionism

10390355_10153003845691013_1764185762239940673_n Over in my Facebook Group, 'The Rad Bitch Girl Gang' I make a point of hosting "Self Care Sundays". Basically, each week I highlight something small that I've done, or plan on doing during the day to make myself happy, and encourage others to do the same. Some weeks I'll catch up with a friend for a coffee and a chat, others I'll put on fresh pyjamas and read all day.

This morning I participated in a Practicum Class with my Coaching Peers as part of our assessment towards our certification. Today I was coached by the lovely Theresa Burke, while our classmates were able to listen in, and provide us with feedback at the end of our session, and it was such a wonderful way to start the day.

You see, I haven't been feeling the best of late, so I've been holding back and hiding from the world a little.

Holding back from blogging as much as I would like.

Holding back from recording videos.

Holding back from creating a podcast series of interviews with some seriously amazing Rad Bitches (Super exciting!!).

Holding back from writing newsletters.

Holding back from making myself available to ACTUALLY COACH!!!

While I haven't been feeling so great lately - and I'm talking 'Randomly bursting into tears and telling Jordan that "I'm really sad right now!" in the middle of the supermarket' levels of not so great - I'd been waiting until I felt as though I'd at least learned something worth sharing - or had found my way out from this little patch I'm experiencing, to write about it or share.

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This morning Theresa helped me to see that a big part of what I write about, share, and encourage others to get comfortable with, is IMPERFECTION. I was really quite shocked to realise that as comfortable as I am with BEING imperfect, I wanted to be able to write about it perfectly - and with hindsight. We then identified some practical action steps that I could start taking today in order to start building my confidence around showing up in the world NOW.

After our session ended, we received some really amazing feedback - not only for Theresa's coaching skills, but also in regards to what I'd shared. It turns out that some of our peers have been dealing with similar feelings of insecurity and fears around putting themselves out there - and that some had been looking to me as somebody who's confident, and who is definitely "showing up", so they gained a lot from hearing what I had to share. Now it's kind of like, "Duh, of course, Kym! Teach by doing. Lead by example. You know this!" and it seems obvious.

My confidence is not innate. With every post, interview, or photo on Instagram, I have to make a conscious decision to put myself out there in that way - and sometimes that's easier than others. Being confident in who I am, and what I know, is something I'm constantly learning - and I know that I'm not alone in this.

I think that what struck me most today (as it often does), is that sometimes during sessions when I'm being coached, I'll find myself relearning things that I already know - or even more poignantly, that sometimes I really need to hear the same messages I'm sharing with my clients. To show up and be seen, or to let people know when things aren't ok and allow myself to admit when I'm struggling is important, because here's the thing, NONE OF US ARE FUCKING PERFECT, and sometimes other people need to see that in us, too.

So, if you I'd like you to consider this a reminder that Rad Bitches have shitty days sometimes, and if that's where you find yourself right now, then it's totally ok. Sometimes it's better to accept that this is where we're at right now, and spend some time getting to know what we actually need - rather than trying to force things to be "better".

xx

Kym

PS: I finally finished Amy Poehler's book, 'Yes Please' and I totally recommend it if you're feeling a little "bleurgh" (or if you're feeling amazing), could use a little reassurance that you're exactly where you need to be, or just want to giggle.

I Made A Thing

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It's been a really interesting couple of weeks here at The Kitteh Palace, as always, I've been pretty busy, and to be completely honest with you, at times things have felt just a little hectic. There have been a couple of nights when I've crashed into my armchair after work, given up on the idea of cooking dinner. Having battled extreme fatigue levels, anxiety and depression at various times during my life, I'm now extremely aware of my needs, and the importance of incorporating self care in my day to day life, so I've been working at holding the ship steady, while zipping along.

The very night that I published my 'About' page on this blog, I received a phone call from a friend who I used to work with when I was about 20. Back when we worked together, I was pretty much at the messiest time in my life. I was working at three different, physically demanding jobs, being under-paid, attempting but failing my teaching degree, dealing with full-blown insomnia, and partying WAY too many nights a week. I had also gone from one ridiculous boy situation, to another, even MORE ridiculous boy situation - which went on for the next five-or-so years (Yes, I'm serious. Like I said, MESSY).

Now, the interesting thing here, is that even at that time, despite the mess I was creating around me - and despite of our age difference (she was in her 30's at the time), I often found myself supporting my friend in the very same way I do for clients now! Talking with my boyfriend after I hung up the phone, took me back to those days, and somehow in spite of the hangovers and sleep deprivation - the memories of our personal struggles, and the pain I was trying to numb were super vivid. I sat with them for a few minutes, before realising that memories like these are EXACTLY why I believe in the work I'm doing.

I honestly believe that we're given this decade known as our 20's to try shit out, fall down, destroy some stuff, and learn what works and what doesn't, (and even as I'm typing this, I'm worried it will come out sounding super dull and boring) so that by the time we hit our 30's, we have enough of an idea of what serves us (As well as what doesn't!) so we can seriously kick arse and really make the most of our time here.

And believe me, I know just how challenging this shit can be to sift through. But what happens if we get to the end of our 20's, or even to the end of our 30's, 40's or even the end of our 50's, not having learned these lessons? Do we just keep on repeating the same patterns, living out the same (in my case, destructive) behaviours? I truly get that sometimes, all you need is someone to hug you while you cry it out, and others you really need to hear is, "Harden the fuck up, and sort your shit out already!" from someone who genuinely gets you.

I want to tell you, that even though over the last two weeks, I've had moments where I've bordered on overwhelm with my workload, not only does it feel worthwhile when I know that I'm working with Rad Bitches and Girl Bosses so that they don't keep living out the same stories over and over. It feels worthwhile when I remember that I now know and understand my limits, and that the work I'm doing is challenging me in ways I genuinely enjoy. I'm growing, and I'm learning every day, and the challenges are nowhere near as overwhelming - let alone soul crushing, as the ones I used to go into battle against every day.

IMG_3738In light of all of this, I sat down and wrote an ebook, which you can download for FREE!

 

I've included some of my most favourite pieces of wisdom, which have helped me get through some of the most challenging times in my life!

I'm sharing this with you all, in the hope that if you’ve come across this little book at a time when you’re feeling stuck, or maybe even find yourself screaming, “LIFE, WHY YOU BE SO HARD FOR???” that you’ll be able to flip through it, and know that you’re not alone!

I'd love to know what you think of it!

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In other news, Jess and I have been working hard behind the scenes to put my first coaching package together; I've been completing my course work; joining in on practical coaching sessions with my classmates; as well as participating in a new project with the amazing Elle Roberts (stay tuned, I'll be announcing the details of this in the coming weeks!).

I sat my Level 1 Health and Wellness Coaching certification exam yesterday, before Jordan and I headed into the city for an Art Gallery and Bagel Date to celebrate.

We visited ACCA, the NGV International, and Anna Schwartz, before walking down to the (still essentially abandoned) Docklands precinct for the exhibition opening at D11.

Thanks again for stopping by, and than you to everyone who has shared their support and words of encouragement over the last few weeks and months. I really appreciate your thoughts!

Until next time,

xx

Kym

 

Sydney Adventures - Leaping From The Ladder

IMG_3666 Can I share something with you? This past week has been nothing short of amazing!

Last Friday, I had the opportunity to be on a live call between the founder of International College of Wellness Coaches, Sarah Liddle, and the one and only Gala Darling! I was very much looking forward to hearing Gala speak about Radical Self Love, business, and blogging.

I first learned of her blog a few years ago through friends who followed her from a fashion and style perspective, and then I happened upon her again during Mercury's retrograde phase in June this year. I'd always been sceptical about the influence of planetary movements on everyday life experiences, but it definitely helped explain some of the crazy things that were happening in my life at the time.

I remember watching the replay of her TED talk just after I first had this ridiculous notion that I could be a life coach. Learning more about where she's come from as a Teen Goth and her life experiences, really resonated with me as her story reflected many elements of my own.

Hearing her talk about the power of owning, and sharing your story with the world really reinforced a few things I'd been thinking through over during the week before. The conversation inspired me to feel confident that I'm on the right track with my plans, studies, and the choices I'm making.

I've also recently started working with business coach, Jessica Nazarali alongside my studies. Just after I committed to working with Jess, she invited me to join her as a guest at her live event, "Leaping From The Ladder" in Sydney, which coincided with the recent launch of her book of the same title.

The event was held last Saturday at the stunning Mosman Art Gallery.

I was so super excited about making the trip, as I've not been to Sydney since I was about 10 years old! Just like a kid before starting school, I was nervous about sleeping in and missing my flight, that I woke up at 4.30am to make my way to the airport. I was extra nervous, because during our call last Friday, Jess offered me the opportunity to speak to her audience - and of course I had said, "Yes"! It was a beautifully warm day in Sydney, so I'm totally blaming my sweaty palms during my talk in front of the room on the weather!

I spoke about having learned that it's totally cool for me to become a Life Coach, and be a Hard-Core Punk at heart, as well as giving myself permission to carve this path for myself - even if I don't feel as though I have all my shit sorted, yet.

Apparently, I spoke really well because nearly everybody in the room made a point of coming to speak to me! It was so inspiring to meet so many gorgeously talented women, all at various stages of their business journeys, all with unique stories and addressing many different needs of women everywhere. It was so cool to hear about their specialised skills, interests, backgrounds, and visions of what's to come!

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I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to speak to the room, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate receiving everyone's feedback and support - especially considering that I only decided to follow this path a few months ago!

I was on such a buzz when I left the event, that I didn't realise I was still wearing my name sticker until I was almost at the bus stop!

After a big day, and an evening swim, I tucked myself in in my hotel room, ordered room service, and got an early night so that I could make the most of my free day to explore the city and its beaches!

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I used my flight home to catch up on a little reading, as well as adding notes to my 100 Day Business Goal journal.

 

 

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It was amazing to break away from daily life, and even more amazing to feel that I am genuinely inspiring women to carve their own paths - just by carving my own!

Even so, I'm definitely happy to be home with Jordan and The Kittehs, working away at my goals.

xx