On Public Speaking and Hosting Tea Parties

IMG_3076 Last Saturday, I hosted my FIRST EVER coaching event, 'A Rad Bitch Tea Party' here at The Kitteh Palace. Holy Crapballs! I'd had such an amazingly exciting week in the lead up to the event - which in all honesty, was a good thing because I didn't even have the opportunity to get nervous about throwing an event, or wind myself up about what could go wrong!

In the week leading up to the event, I'd been interviewed by Jessica Nazarali for her 'Coach of the Week' feature over on her blog - eeee!

As if that wasn't excitement enough, on Friday morning, I had the incredible pleasure of speaking alongside Jess AND Gina DeVee on a Special Live Call about branding as a "New Coach". To put into perspective just how big a deal this was, it's pretty much the coaching world equivalent of having someone like Gala Darling offer to guest post on my blog. I was honestly FREAKING OUT about speaking to what turned out to be over 300 women, but I'm SO GLAD that I agreed to because I've had the opportunity to speak directly with some really incredible women about their dreams and their business aspirations as a result!

Luckily - given that I had all these exciting things happening in the lead up to my Tea Party, I happen to have some truly amazing friends who also happen to be a little bit nifty in the kitchen, because as much as I love baking, I would not have had the time to bake and prepare noms for the day!

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My buddy Lee from Cupcake Rivalry created the most stunning and totally badass cake especially for the day, and I'm not going to lie - It was at least 10 times more incredible than anything I would have been able to create for the day!

I only started to get the jitters about the actual event when my neighbour from directly below us let me know (about an hour before people were due to arrive) that he was having some mates around for a Jam Session at the same time as the Tea Party. I needn't have been nervous, as not only was the band good, they also provided the most perfect impromptu soundtrack to the afternoon!

My mum came around a little before the Rad Bitches were due to arrive, and helped me with a few finishing touches like setting the table in the living room, buying scones, welcoming people as they arrived, and filming the afternoon - THANKS MUM!

Once the Rad Bitches had arrived, we settled in with cups of hot chocolate. I talked a little about the events of the last year in particular, and the process I used for setting and achieving my goals, before we started sharing some of our goals for the year ahead: Travel, Parenting, Writing, Self-Employment, and Creativity were big themes which came up throughout the afternoon.

One of my personal favourite aspects of the day, was the intimacy of hosting a small-ish group of incredible like-minded, and yet uniquely individual women, and the safe supportive environment they helped create. I was so blown away by the depth of sharing, as well as the personal stories shared as the afternoon went on.

IMG_3118We took a break to enjoy the delicious cake (For the record, it was a 100% Vegan Friendly, Chocolate Mud and Vanilla cake), chat, doodle in notebooks, replenish our cups of tea or hot chocolate, and take a few selfies, before I invited my dear friend and client Jessi Anna to speak to the group.

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Jessi spoke so beautifully, and so generously shared her story, before talking about some of the profound changes she's implemented over the last few months, and the positive shifts that have occurred as a result. I'm so proud and grateful to have been given the opportunity to work with Jessi One on One, and especially grateful that she was willing to speak at the Tea Party!

One of the most inspiring moments, was during a conversation around limiting beliefs and perfectionism which led to possibly the biggest "Take Home Message" of the day:

IMG_3123I'd like to say a HUGE Thank You to the Rad Bitches who came along I really appreciate your incredible spirit and the overwhelmingly positive feedback. I'd also like to thank everyone who supported the event, but weren't able to make it on the day!

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I am already starting to plan the next event, and at this point I'm thinking that it will be held on Saturday the 21st of February, so check your planners and pencil in the date into your diary if you'd like to join us next time!

In the meantime, I'm going to do my best to get a copy of the recording to make available - either as a video, or have it transcribed into a blog post!

For now, please have an amazing week and stay awesome!

xx

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How to Life: Rule Number One

IMG_3725This weeks post comes from the first tip in my eBook A Rad Bitch's How to Guide to Life: From Post Break-Up Survival Mode, to Rocking at Life, and it feels like it's a message we all need to be reminded of from time-to-time. I've seen countless articles and email newsletters written on this topic recently, as well as questions from within my network of peers - Yep! Even us Coaches, battle with with the dreaded Comparison-itis from time to time!

You know that feeling, when you see some other Girl Boss totally killing at life. She's posting all these amazing photos across Social Media - Oh look, another Instagram photo on a beach with her puppy and Significant Other, followed by a Facebook update about that gig she went to last night. Whatever the case story may be - it doesn't actually matter.

What matters, are the stories and the meaning that WE attach to other peoples lives.

Sometimes we look at those around us with envy or jealousy. It's easy to get caught up in thoughts that there's some finite level of AWESOME available in the world, and that somehow, it's being unfairly distributed - especially when you're really struggling. Sometimes, it just feels so f*cking unfair!

"Like, really Life? How come SHE gets to have ALL of the AWESOME, while I'm stuck over here on Struggle Street? Gahhhh!"

Okay, if this is YOU right now? STOP!

Here are some really important things I want you to remember:

First of all, the people in your life, are here because you're YOU.

They love you and want to spend time with you because they damn well get the person you are. Unless you have totally shitty friends - this is a good thing! They love YOU - quirks, weird habits, dangerously high number of feline friends and all!

Secondly, EVERYONE starts out SOMEWHERE, and has a bad day every now and then.

This one took me a long time to realise for myself, so please don't beat yourself up if this takes some consistent practice - and some missteps along the way. It may be that the Girl Boss you've been shooting dagger-eyes at through your phone screen, once found herself in the same tired, old, warn through sneakers you're dragging your butt down to 7/11 for a sneaky 2am donut in (It's ok, we've all done it). There are any number of possible events that may have occurred, and choices she may have made about her life - let alone how much work she's put in in the mean time, to get to where she is now.

The take home message here - is not a new one, but it is an important one all the same: You can't compare your Page 1, to someone else's Page 101 and expect them to look the freakin' same. Seriously, plot and character development are crucial elements to any story that's supposed to make any sense - let alone great to read!

Third, whatever you get to see is NEVER the full picture.

Regardless of where you interact with others, be it at work, uni, the gym, online, or even through the media - you will never get to see a complete picture of who they are. Whatever you see of them - particularly online (or in the media) - will only ever be what someone chooses to show you. In reality, unless you're reading trashy tabloid crap - in which case what you're consuming is probably totally made up bullshit - you'll only get to see the BEST selfie that someone took, not the countless other ones which feature weird light, or the ones when their eye was half closed and they look kind of drunk. What we see is CURATED.

Fourth, it's great to have positive role models and people who inspire you, BUT...

Role Models should have a positive influence on you. They should INSPIRE you to grow as a person, and to be your own best self - they should not bring out feelings of defeat or hopelessness. If you've tried all the things I've suggested so far, and you've still got a severe case of Comparison-itis, I want you to remember that YOU get to choose what and who you see, or at least how often and how you interact with a given person. If you REALLY can't shake the negative feelings someone brings up for you, limit or eliminate the contact you have with that person - at least until you feel more confident in where you're at.

MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, REMEMBER THAT THE ONLY PERSON YOU SHOULD BE COMPARING YOURSELF TO, IS YOU!

Check in with how you feel about what YOU are doing, feeling, achieving? Who do you share your life with? What do you have to show for yourself? What goals are you working towards, and how much closer are you to reaching them than you were yesterday? Last week? A month ago? Five years ago? How much have you grown and what have you learned from your unique experiences in life?

Ask yourself, "What AM I doing?" In spite of all the excuses you could be making, and potential set backs or barriers which would cause anyone else to throw their hands up in the air and scream, "F*ck this for a joke!" I guarantee that you're kicking more arse than you think you are - AND I'd be willing to bet that somewhere out there, SOMEONE else is looking up to you, hoping that their Page 101 looks half as freakin' AWESOME as yours does to them.

Thanks again for stopping in, and please let me know in the comments section below:

How YOU deal with Comparison-itis when it rears its' head?

xx