On Doing What Must Be Done

On Doing What Must Be Done

Working super hard on something that you're super passionate about can be incredibly exciting and inspiring, but when your reality doesn't meet the expectations you'd set for yourself, it can be absolutely soul-destroying.

So what do you do when that happens?

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Self Care Sunday: On Maintaining A Beautiful Space

Self Care Sunday: On Maintaining A Beautiful Space

With the beginning of the New Year, I'm committing to a new special series here on the blog, dedicated to Self Care Sunday. Each week I'll share about what Real Self Care looks like in practice for me. And I'm starting off with something which may not actually seem like a self care practice: CLEANING HOUSE - LITERALLY.

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On Things to Do When You're Feeling Just A Little Bit Shit

On Things to Do When You're Feeling Just A Little Bit Shit

So on the back of the icky and stressful feeling week, I decided to share some of the things I like to do to boost my mood and make myself feel like a bit more of a Rad Bitch. Some of these are big things, and some of them are quick and easy wins, because let's face it, when we're feeling a just a little bit shitty is not always the time when we're at our most patient - well I'm certainly not anyway!

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On Handling Stress and Traumatic Events

On Handling Stress and Traumatic Events

I know I talk about this a lot, but if there was one thing I could teach the entire world, it would be that we don't have to be 100% okay all of the time. It's okay if we're not okay, but it's important to tune into how we're feeling, and to figure out what we need.

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On Letting Go of Fear: Dead Weight and Pink Balloons

On Letting Go of Fear: Dead Weight and Pink Balloons

And as the conference started to loom closer, I could feel myself starting to slip back into some of those old patterns - although thankfully, I've kept to my limit of two coffees a day, and I haven't taken up smoking again.

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On Boundaries as Self Respect

IMG_3299 Whether or not it's because of Mercury Retrograde, a cold and grey summer, or just the "Back to Work" Blues, I have noticed a definite energetic slump across the internet - and within my friendship circles over the last month. Being someone who's particularly sensitive to these things - and someone who has experienced both depression and anxiety at different times through my life - I haven't been immune to this funky little period that many of us seem to be coming out on the other side of.

First of all, let's take a moment for a collective deep breath, a sigh of relief and appreciation for any lessons or gains since the start of the year.

I think it's really important for us to acknowledge and learn to recognise that sometimes we do all need some time out, to step back, reflect, recover, recoup or do whatever it is that you actually need right now.

The Sassy Ms. Honey B and I snuggled up with a cup of Hot 'Buttered' Rum on a cool evening

Obviously, as much as we may love to be able to hit the pause button on life occasionally, and take a break where we just don't need to adult for a while, the world keeps turning and we still have certain responsibilities to take care of, and expectations which need to be met.

Sometimes that might mean that we strip everything back to the absolute bare minimum, and only do the things which are truly essential (like eating) before crawling back into a quilt cocoon and cuddling up with the cats. I have definitely had my share of days like this over the last month. I have been making a point of spending my days off reading and writing in my pyjamas, and trying to allow space.

All of this said, January and early February have still been quite big months for me in terms of social events, with Baby Showers, 30th Birthday Parties, Reunions and Catch Up's out the wazoo - the biggest of which being my Lil Sis's Bridal Shower.

So, how does a sensitive introvert like me not only show up and deal with, but actually enjoy getting put and being social during a time when I'd really love to be tucked up at home?

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To start with, I ask myself, "Why am I going to this event (or doing this thing)?" If I'm thinking about going along, purely out of obligation and the world isn't going to stop turning if I'm not there, then I scrap my plans.

Another way of looking at this, is to check in with your gut reaction to how you feel about being at an event? Then in the words of Mark Manson, if your response isn't "Fuck yes!", then it's a, "No."

For me, the event's I've been to over recent weeks - especially my Lil Sis's Bridal Shower, have been ones which I know that I'll enjoy, and that I'll be truly shitty at myself if I miss out on them. I've also gotten to a point now, where people really only invite me to events if they genuinely want me to be there, and that my attendance will be appreciated, which makes showing up way more fun.

Something else that I've been practicing over the past month, has been to take time out DURING events. Back in the day, I used to just punch through and hop from party, to party, back to back, and stay out until the first train home in the morning, or just end up crashing on a couch somewhere I didn't want to be - either because the cab fare home was too high - or because cab drivers wouldn't go as far out into the bush as the parties I went to, or I had just had way too much to drink to be going anywhere.

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For my Lil Sis's Bridal Shower, her Bridesmaids had planned a MASSIVE day, starting with a champagne breakfast, followed by barefoot Lawn Bowls then a few hours of shenanigans, before dinner with cocktails, THEN dancing and drinking late into the night.

Considering that my sister lives interstate, and that many of her friends live in the outer suburbs, I definitely got lucky with the venues being within a ten minute drive from the Kitteh Palace. This meant that I was able to come home and take some time out after we'd finished with lawn bowls, and then go back out and meet the party again for dinner.

When he realised that I'd come home, Jordan assumed that it was because I wasn't having fun, however this wasn't the case. I had actually been having a great time, but I know myself well enough now to know where my limits are. By taking a break (and having a snack before going back out), I was able to really enjoy the rest of the night without feeling tired or getting cranky that the food took ages to come out.

Another thing I've learned over the years, is to leave while the party is still fun! While there's a lot to be said for those times when time gets away from you because you've found yourself engrossed in a conversation with someone you can truly relate to, then suddenly realising that you've been talking for four hours, when it comes to nights out I've become a big fan of recognising - and paying attention to when it's time to leave.

These days, I'm all for embracing the latter part of the saying, "GO HARD, OR GO HOME".

On Public Speaking and Hosting Tea Parties

IMG_3076 Last Saturday, I hosted my FIRST EVER coaching event, 'A Rad Bitch Tea Party' here at The Kitteh Palace. Holy Crapballs! I'd had such an amazingly exciting week in the lead up to the event - which in all honesty, was a good thing because I didn't even have the opportunity to get nervous about throwing an event, or wind myself up about what could go wrong!

In the week leading up to the event, I'd been interviewed by Jessica Nazarali for her 'Coach of the Week' feature over on her blog - eeee!

As if that wasn't excitement enough, on Friday morning, I had the incredible pleasure of speaking alongside Jess AND Gina DeVee on a Special Live Call about branding as a "New Coach". To put into perspective just how big a deal this was, it's pretty much the coaching world equivalent of having someone like Gala Darling offer to guest post on my blog. I was honestly FREAKING OUT about speaking to what turned out to be over 300 women, but I'm SO GLAD that I agreed to because I've had the opportunity to speak directly with some really incredible women about their dreams and their business aspirations as a result!

Luckily - given that I had all these exciting things happening in the lead up to my Tea Party, I happen to have some truly amazing friends who also happen to be a little bit nifty in the kitchen, because as much as I love baking, I would not have had the time to bake and prepare noms for the day!

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My buddy Lee from Cupcake Rivalry created the most stunning and totally badass cake especially for the day, and I'm not going to lie - It was at least 10 times more incredible than anything I would have been able to create for the day!

I only started to get the jitters about the actual event when my neighbour from directly below us let me know (about an hour before people were due to arrive) that he was having some mates around for a Jam Session at the same time as the Tea Party. I needn't have been nervous, as not only was the band good, they also provided the most perfect impromptu soundtrack to the afternoon!

My mum came around a little before the Rad Bitches were due to arrive, and helped me with a few finishing touches like setting the table in the living room, buying scones, welcoming people as they arrived, and filming the afternoon - THANKS MUM!

Once the Rad Bitches had arrived, we settled in with cups of hot chocolate. I talked a little about the events of the last year in particular, and the process I used for setting and achieving my goals, before we started sharing some of our goals for the year ahead: Travel, Parenting, Writing, Self-Employment, and Creativity were big themes which came up throughout the afternoon.

One of my personal favourite aspects of the day, was the intimacy of hosting a small-ish group of incredible like-minded, and yet uniquely individual women, and the safe supportive environment they helped create. I was so blown away by the depth of sharing, as well as the personal stories shared as the afternoon went on.

IMG_3118We took a break to enjoy the delicious cake (For the record, it was a 100% Vegan Friendly, Chocolate Mud and Vanilla cake), chat, doodle in notebooks, replenish our cups of tea or hot chocolate, and take a few selfies, before I invited my dear friend and client Jessi Anna to speak to the group.

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Jessi spoke so beautifully, and so generously shared her story, before talking about some of the profound changes she's implemented over the last few months, and the positive shifts that have occurred as a result. I'm so proud and grateful to have been given the opportunity to work with Jessi One on One, and especially grateful that she was willing to speak at the Tea Party!

One of the most inspiring moments, was during a conversation around limiting beliefs and perfectionism which led to possibly the biggest "Take Home Message" of the day:

IMG_3123I'd like to say a HUGE Thank You to the Rad Bitches who came along I really appreciate your incredible spirit and the overwhelmingly positive feedback. I'd also like to thank everyone who supported the event, but weren't able to make it on the day!

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I am already starting to plan the next event, and at this point I'm thinking that it will be held on Saturday the 21st of February, so check your planners and pencil in the date into your diary if you'd like to join us next time!

In the meantime, I'm going to do my best to get a copy of the recording to make available - either as a video, or have it transcribed into a blog post!

For now, please have an amazing week and stay awesome!

xx

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I Made A Thing

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It's been a really interesting couple of weeks here at The Kitteh Palace, as always, I've been pretty busy, and to be completely honest with you, at times things have felt just a little hectic. There have been a couple of nights when I've crashed into my armchair after work, given up on the idea of cooking dinner. Having battled extreme fatigue levels, anxiety and depression at various times during my life, I'm now extremely aware of my needs, and the importance of incorporating self care in my day to day life, so I've been working at holding the ship steady, while zipping along.

The very night that I published my 'About' page on this blog, I received a phone call from a friend who I used to work with when I was about 20. Back when we worked together, I was pretty much at the messiest time in my life. I was working at three different, physically demanding jobs, being under-paid, attempting but failing my teaching degree, dealing with full-blown insomnia, and partying WAY too many nights a week. I had also gone from one ridiculous boy situation, to another, even MORE ridiculous boy situation - which went on for the next five-or-so years (Yes, I'm serious. Like I said, MESSY).

Now, the interesting thing here, is that even at that time, despite the mess I was creating around me - and despite of our age difference (she was in her 30's at the time), I often found myself supporting my friend in the very same way I do for clients now! Talking with my boyfriend after I hung up the phone, took me back to those days, and somehow in spite of the hangovers and sleep deprivation - the memories of our personal struggles, and the pain I was trying to numb were super vivid. I sat with them for a few minutes, before realising that memories like these are EXACTLY why I believe in the work I'm doing.

I honestly believe that we're given this decade known as our 20's to try shit out, fall down, destroy some stuff, and learn what works and what doesn't, (and even as I'm typing this, I'm worried it will come out sounding super dull and boring) so that by the time we hit our 30's, we have enough of an idea of what serves us (As well as what doesn't!) so we can seriously kick arse and really make the most of our time here.

And believe me, I know just how challenging this shit can be to sift through. But what happens if we get to the end of our 20's, or even to the end of our 30's, 40's or even the end of our 50's, not having learned these lessons? Do we just keep on repeating the same patterns, living out the same (in my case, destructive) behaviours? I truly get that sometimes, all you need is someone to hug you while you cry it out, and others you really need to hear is, "Harden the fuck up, and sort your shit out already!" from someone who genuinely gets you.

I want to tell you, that even though over the last two weeks, I've had moments where I've bordered on overwhelm with my workload, not only does it feel worthwhile when I know that I'm working with Rad Bitches and Girl Bosses so that they don't keep living out the same stories over and over. It feels worthwhile when I remember that I now know and understand my limits, and that the work I'm doing is challenging me in ways I genuinely enjoy. I'm growing, and I'm learning every day, and the challenges are nowhere near as overwhelming - let alone soul crushing, as the ones I used to go into battle against every day.

IMG_3738In light of all of this, I sat down and wrote an ebook, which you can download for FREE!

 

I've included some of my most favourite pieces of wisdom, which have helped me get through some of the most challenging times in my life!

I'm sharing this with you all, in the hope that if you’ve come across this little book at a time when you’re feeling stuck, or maybe even find yourself screaming, “LIFE, WHY YOU BE SO HARD FOR???” that you’ll be able to flip through it, and know that you’re not alone!

I'd love to know what you think of it!

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In other news, Jess and I have been working hard behind the scenes to put my first coaching package together; I've been completing my course work; joining in on practical coaching sessions with my classmates; as well as participating in a new project with the amazing Elle Roberts (stay tuned, I'll be announcing the details of this in the coming weeks!).

I sat my Level 1 Health and Wellness Coaching certification exam yesterday, before Jordan and I headed into the city for an Art Gallery and Bagel Date to celebrate.

We visited ACCA, the NGV International, and Anna Schwartz, before walking down to the (still essentially abandoned) Docklands precinct for the exhibition opening at D11.

Thanks again for stopping by, and than you to everyone who has shared their support and words of encouragement over the last few weeks and months. I really appreciate your thoughts!

Until next time,

xx

Kym