Today I want to write a follow up to my epic blog post 'On Contributing to the Conversation About Feminism', where I discussed among other things, the "Tyler, The Creator vs Collective Shout Shit Storm". It led to some really interesting and in-depth conversations about racism and misogyny over on my personal Facebook profile.
This is probably the most balanced article I've read on the whole fiasco. I honestly really enjoyed reading this piece, and for me it sums up why these conversations need to be conducted outside Twitter where nuance, balance, tone, and intention can get totally lost.
I had an amazing conversation with one of my best friends last night about the issue of Tone Policing and intersectionality in the wake of the Miley Cyrus and Nicki Minaj exchange in the lead up to, and on stage at the VMA's.
Let's be real here.
Intersectionality can be fucking hard work.
Being a "Good Feminist" is challenging.
Being able to fully consider everyone else's feelings, experiences and reactions before we open our mouths, or do anything - and successfully accommodate them all, ALL OF THE TIME, is an absolute impossibility.
BUT that doesn't mean that we don't try.
We're all human.
We all have our own unique understandings of the world, and sometimes they just don't match up with other people's expectations.
We're all growing, stumbling, learning, and succeeding everyday.
We're guaranteed to fuck up, not just once or twice, but HUNDREDS of times during our lives.
And do you know what?
We're going to hurt people and be hurt - again this is okay.
This will happen REGARDLESS of your INTENTIONS.
While it is important to try to act from a place of good intentions, at the end of the day, they're irrelevant.
What matters is how other people react to what you actually do - as they say, "The road to Hell was paved on Good Intentions.", and how YOU respond to their reactions is what people remember.
For me and from where I sit, I still believe that the way Tyler handled the petition via Twitter was deliberately provocative and was never going to play out well, but I can also see why he's pissed about an activist group fighting to have him shut out of countries - when touring is an important aspect of his ability to succeed within his career.
Ultimately, I get why he's refusing to apologise for his behaviour, but I do think that he needs to accept some level of responsibility for the impact it's had.
When we fuck up, it's important to learn from it, and try to take that criticism on board - not as a personal attack, but as a lesson and to try our best to do things differently in the future.